Yukon No More

Since returning to Tagish Yukon from Oliver BC I have discovered a deeply felt, overmastering, profound fact. There is nothing in Yukon for me! I used to love the Yukon. I painted the Yukon. I enjoyed it here. I loved the people. I loved the territory. I loved being here. I it was a place to belong. I was a part of it. I was connected to it. I owed allegiance and service to it. I know now that I loved it because I was with my loving wife Aggie. *We* were Yukoners. Now being alone here, I feel that I am *really* alone here. It is cold, the people are cold, and I don’t belong.

I remember the first day, a year ago, when I arrived in Oliver BC. I was alone. I had not yet met anybody. And it felt like *home*. I was immediately happy being there. When I left Oliver to re-establish residency in Yukon I was sad. I didn’t want to leave. I was not alone. I had community. I had many friends. I belonged. It felt like I was leaving *home*. I said I would return. I *will* return. I want to go home; to Oliver BC. The *only* thing keeping me in Yukon now is the weather. As soon as the Alaska Highway road and weather conditions allow me to safely drive my 60 foot rig south, I will be on my way. I wanted to leave Yukon *today*. There is nothing here for me. I will more than re-establish my residency in Oliver . . . I will re-establish my *life* in Oliver BC. And yes, I had to return to Yukon to firmly determine this. I needed to return to Yukon, to know where I *really* belong.

Psalm 7

All of the turmoil and disquieted confusion going on in the world right now prompted me to write my Psalm Number 7 today. You can read it here.

2nd Snowfall Of The Year

This morning I woke up to see the 2nd snowfall of the year. I was glad to have already winterized the motorhome for the winter to come. Now if I could only find out how mice are getting in. I have caught 12 of them already and I have to check my traps daily. Let’s see . . . 12 should be enough for a stew!

New, Psalm #6

A dear friend in Oliver BC was the inspiration for this psalm. You can read it here.

Plastic Grocery Bags

I like plastic grocery bags. They are also my kitchen and bathroom garbage bags. I wonder what I would use for garbage bags if they weren’t available anymore. In a few places I guess *some* of the garbage could be recycled if community and provincial recycling programs were in place, and were efficiently operated (by our tax money of course . . . that’s a bummer . . . increased costs!). But I could accept that.

I am *not* in favour of banning plastic grocery bags unless and until:

1. An alternative to plastic garbage bags is an acceptable and convenient alternative.

2. And most importantly, manufacturing companies and other companies that use plastic packaging would have to stop using plastic packaging of all types, including those terrible bubble wrap packages. That would have to happen *first*. I find now, that most of the garbage that I throw out is plastic packaging that is useless and usually mutilated beyond recongnition while opening the product. At least I can use plastic garbage bags again. What can I do with other types of plastic except put it in my plastic grocery bags to throw away. Plastic grocery bags may be more visible to us but other plastic is more plentiful and environmentally harmful. Many grocery bags are now made from biodegradable material; not so with product packaging.

Enough of the ‘ban plastic grocery bags’ programs. On with the ’sensible product packaging’ program. Then, if necessary, maybe we could look at grocery bags again.

In From The Cold

The evening and morning temperatures in Tagish Yukon are a little bit too much to take in a motorhome. Not impossible . . .  but the cost of propane to keep warm would be just too high. And what about minus 40 degrees?

I am a senior, so I made application to ‘Yukon Housing’ for an apartment, of which there are many available for seniors, with a not too long waiting list, and at a cost of 25 percent of gross income. Today I took my application to a prearranged review meeting with a ‘Yukon Housing’ representative. The result . . . my pension income is approximately $1500 per year too high and there is no chance of approval for senior’s housing by “the board”.

Now what? A few days ago I moved into a motel room in Tagish. My motorhome is winterized and awaits warm weather? Or should I just head south *now* and look for accommodation for me, my Cisco and my motorhome? Or because my Yukon property is still not sold . . . should I try to build on it in the Spring, and stay a “Yukoner”? Rental of an apartment in Whitehorse is *not* an option. That is too expensive and is beyond my means. If I return to Oliver BC will I be able to find affordable and suitable accommodation? Last winter in Oliver *was* affordable but the summer there was *not*. Should I take that chance? The gas to get there would be about $1500 . . . as it was to get back to Tagish two months ago.

The strange thing is . . . why do I still think things will turn out okay? Especially since the last two years have been so hard and difficult. What will it take to again feel that I have a purpose, a goal, a reason for existence? When will I again have the space to paint? Is that all I need . . . a space to paint? What else is missing in my life?